Cast – (Pax) in order of appearance:
Crawdaddy – Charles Emmerson Winchester III
Gilmore – Radar O’reily
Lucky Charms – Trapper John
Crankbait – Col. Potter
Duvet – Col. Blake
Mulligan – Father Mulcahy
Dean – Frank Burns (no role has ever been more perfectly cast)
Epstein – Klinger
8 actors playing the part of PAX gathered to find out what all the “scuttlbut” was about. Like a well executed psyops mission by the North Koreans, the signup sheet was full of more false info than Rosie on Radio Tokyo. But like Radar calling for incoming choppers, the troops gathered and prepped to go on duty.
Crankbait Potter hearing that we actually have to work out.
Pax mosyed to main lot for morning PT.
WAR – 15X Side Straddle Hops, Cotton Pickers, Abe Vigotas, on your 6 for hurdler stretch, Helicopters and Frankensteins
The group then paused as Klinger marched past on guard duty to take in his outfit of the day. It brought as much joy as a weekend pass on R&R.
Epstein Klinger dreaming of that section 8.
In reality he’s actually already earned it.. Talk about getting into a role as an actor..
Finished with that Radar got on the horn to I Corp to see what Sparky had in store for us.. the news was grim. Turns out BJ Honeycutt (Special Ed) had gone AWOL at exactly 5:17am removing himself from the duty roster and missed his rounds.
Gilmore O’reily’s reaction
Special Ed Honeycutt’s reaction
The pax the fell in for inspection for The Thang:
Not a single member of the cadre knew the MASH connection in the clues.. I needed Florida there to connect the dots. In reference to the MASH theme (Suicide is Painless, by Johnny Mandel) we would be showing that is not true.
Crankbait Potter hearing from Tokyo that there would be running..
Run the 6 lines doing suicides with a stop at each line for exercise (rep count matches the line)
Round 1 – Merkins
Round 2 – Barshnikovs
Col. Duvet Blake and Pvt. Gilmore O’reily finding out that Barshnikovs were an exercise and not a filthy commie plot.
Round 3 – Side Straddle Hops
Father Mulligan Mulcahy when asked to give us a 10 count.
Round 4 – Burpees (this looked bad even on paper)
Lucky Charms Trapper John thinking so little of the Burpees he wished he was hitting the hard stuff with his old pal Hawkeye (who would have been played by Slice’n Dice had he not fartsacked AGAIN!)
Round 5 – (modified to 4 lines) WW1’s
Crankbait Potter hearing that there would be a round 5..
Having proven Johnny Mandel wrong we wrapped up the running.
Homer and Marge
Low Slow Flutters
Cindy’s right and Left
Proper form Jellyfish which left one Pax as disjointed as when Major Hullihan is out of camp.
Major Dean Frank Burns expressing his displeasure.
Prayers – Duvet’s coworkers Uncle, Epstein’s family hoping to resolve an issue, Ally and Shawn and Kids in general who are carying a heavy load along with their parents.
Crankbait prayed us out.
Always a pleasure Gents.
Sincerely Yours – Charles Emerson Crawdaddy Winchester III (of the Cambrige Mass Crawdaddy’s)