Northern Aggression: Getting Crabby with It

The weather was completely cooperative for the beatdown in downtown Kernersville. After watching Man Hands have a cavity search at his vehicle during our Warmarama, things settled down for the Pax.

Pax: Fortran, Tenderfoot, Man Hands, Water Wings, Flipper, Radar, Elaine, Spicoli, Kay, Mulligan, Slice and Dice, Flounder, Deliverance, Pacer, Lambeau, Wham O, Twerk (FNG), CHECKBOOK, Dr. Evil (QIC)

My apologies. I forgot that Checkbook had to leave early to do something. You saw him. He was wearing his customary all black attire. With a cute imp logo.

There was some apparent confusion with the workout name, but please know that not a single crab walk, crab humper, or any other crab-based named exercise was performed. Furthermore, there were no crabs injured during the workout…

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No crab walk…or humpers.


  • SSH’s, 20 IC
  • Seam Rippers, 15 IC
  • Sun Gods, Sobriety Style, 15 IC Forward, Reverso
  • Mountain Climbers, 15 IC
  • Peter Parkers, 15 IC

At this point we left Man Hands and Tenderfoot to do what they do in the satellite convalescent center for…

The Thang, Part I:

As we ran down Harmon Street, Wham O! noticed that we were, indeed, heading to one of the only elevation changes in K’ville.

Partner up!

Partner A runs to the bottom of the hill, and then he carioca’s back up the hill. **Please note, this was the first time that QIC has ever attempted a carioca uphill. Not horrible now, but it will be interesting to see if there is some residual soreness tomorrow….**

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Point of Order: Proper spelling of said exercise.

Partner B completes as many of the exercise as possible before being relieved by Partner A

  • Each team completed:
    • 150 Monkey Humpers
    • 150 Squats
    • 150 Gorilla Humpers

QIC foolishly thought that by using the same number for each exercise that it would be easily understood. Thanks, Kay, for shattering that dream….on the third round.

Mosey to area next to the KPD Police Station for..

Thang II:

  • 22. Count ’em. 22 lines in the parking area created the perfect number of merkins separated only by a few feet each for bear crawls. There was a bit of a groan, but the Pax dug in. Somewhere between number 5 and 15 a significant portion of the Pax said “to hell with that” and either lunged or walked their way in. T-claps to the determined, including Slice & Dice and Fortran. Well done by everyone.
  • Mosey to the grass on the side. Each Pax holds a plank in a line and the first pax jumps two pax in their planks and does a burpee. Rinse and repeat until the end. Approximately 8 burpees in all, not too many, really….so….
  • Return to the parking lot with, yes, 22 lines, and rinse and repeat the bear crawl and merkin march. Pacer rocked it and sat on the curb for the 6 #nomanleftbehind….There was a noticed hesitancy to beginning this round…
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Time to mosey back to Harmon Park to meet with Man Hands and Tenderfoot for…


  • 25 LBC’s IC
  • 12 Cindy Crawfords IC, Flapjack
  • 30 American Hammers IC (thanks, Spicoli, for the suggested number #crowdfavorite)


FNG Kurt Ruppel, originally from Sanford, grew up in Nashville (Earnest T.?), U. of Tenn grad, 16-years as stay-at-home dad (Doubtfire taken), active in the Scouts…runner, working on his house, bad back…what? bad back? Twerk. Yep, that’s it. Welcome, Twerk!

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Best wishes on your half marathon run in Wilmington next weekend, we’ll keep you in prayers and see you right after…

  • Thin Mint, Cardiologist, prayers for today
  • Wham O!, putting his house on the market
  • Pacer, March 23 Move Weekend
  • Man Hands led us out in prayer

Always an honor–I’m sure hope you got enough…


Dr. Evil