Double Nickel. Fifty-five. 55.
The energy saving highway speed limit imposed on the entire USA during the Nixon administration, widely ignored, unsuccessful in conservation, and eventually repealed by Congress in 1995.
A convenient source of revenue for the free-spending state of California, sorely vexing to Sammy Hagar.
Two more than the number of Merkins required to bring YHC to his knees during the first round of this morning’s Thang.
And a minor milestone birthday celebrated by YHC this week.
The Pax: Gilmore, Dr Evil, Pacer, Cube, Blue Hen, Crankbait, Sprinkler, Fannypack, Mulligan, Giselle, Crawdaddy, Epstein, Fortran, Wham-O, Red Hot, Tenderfoot, Checkbook, Sludge, Sheila E, Flounder, Tool Time, Kay, FNG Matt Flowers, FloRida (QIC)
23 heat-resistant pax and one FNG posted to The Gloom for a celebration of running and calisthenics. After an unscripted mission statement and disclaimer for Tool Time’s FNG, we moseyed to the parking lot in front of the school for a grand circle of WARMARAMA:
Side Straddle Hops – 15 IC. Never before have so many men done so many jumping jacks in so many different ways. Pacer has spawned a legion of approximators. Absolutely astonishing to see the creativity and frequency with which the Pax modifies this most basic of opening exercises.
Helicopters – 10 IC
Cotton Pickers – 12 IC
Seagulls – 5 IC
Y-Flies – 5 IC. Something new. From standing position, bend at waist with arms hanging loosely down. Raise arms up and forward, making a Y shape with elbows on either side of head. Hold for a beat, and return arms slowly to the down position. A good complement to Merkins and plank exercises for the upper back muscles.
Superflies – 5 IC. Also something new. Combine one Seagull and one Y-Fly to make a four count exercise performed while standing bent at the waist. Step 1 – arms down, step 2 – arms out to side, Step 3 – arms down, Step 4 – arms up in a Y. Also an excellent, although perhaps dated, compliment to the owner of a fully-pimped 1970s-era large domestic sedan.
Robust mumblechatter at this point about the lack of challenge associated with these new exercises, and speculation by Flounder about YHC’s poor time management skills.
Then a mosey to the makeshift bleachers at the foot of the car rider benches to begin THE THANG:
One Bleacher Snake to familiarize the Pax with the course. An impressive line of #HIM undulating up and down the first two hills, before the chaos started to creep in. It was pretty while it lasted.
Then a sequence of exercises – 55 reps each – with a bleacher snake between each exercise.
Merkins – or until failure
LBC – Single Count
Flutter Kick – Single Count
SuperFly – the Pax showed a wide range of form on these, despite the opening practice. From impressive, ramrod straight 90° angles to some half-hearted gnat-swatting.
Monkey Humpers – Single Count
Shoulder Taps – Single Count
Falling Superman – Single Count
Mountain Climbers – Single Count
WW I situps
Plank Jacks – Single Count
Crab Cakes – Single Count
Groiners – Single Count
T-claps to Crawdaddy for charging the hills like a Bull Moose. Notably dogged determination by Sheila E. Fast-finishing Sugar Rays Kay, Gilmore, and Dr Evil made it to the WWIs before QIC called Omaha. Thumbs up to Tool Time for keeping the FNG on track.
After a return mosey to the basketball courts, the Pax enjoyed 6 Minutes of Mary:
Homer and Marge
Cindy Crawfords – 10 IC
American Hammers – 25 IC
And 5 birthday burpees for YHC.
NAME-ARAMA – Friendly New Guy Matt Flowers, former OSU Buckeye and father of three, works at DEERe-Hitachi building excavators. The Pax ran quickly through the usual opposing sports teams – Wolverine and Spartan – before seizing on the connection between Matt’s employer and his last name to propose and endorse the name Bambi. Matt shrewdly offered neither protest nor acceptance, perhaps remembering that Bambi was a male fawn who would grow into a strapping and antlered buck perpetually in rut.
Deepest sympathies to Crankbait, who gave a heartfelt account of his co-worker’s suicide and reminded us to strive for empathetic, compassionate love in all interactions.
Tightrope’s daughter is in the hospital with kidney issues and high blood pressure.
Lucky Charms and Special Ed both struggling with injuries keeping them out of The Gloom, reducing the Tencarva morning army to half-strength.
Thanks to Sludge for a thoughtful closing prayer.
Always a pleasure, an honor and an inspiration to spend a morning with this fine group of High Impact Men.