28 PAX (pacer will send me names later and i’ll update) entered the gloom to begin an unsanctioned, possibly illegal reenactment of the presidential physical fitness tests…it all began around 5:28 when the Q realized we had an FNG.  Using impressive skills to gather everyone’s attention, YHC was rudely interrupted by Gilmore for a public service announcement about Duke and UNC-CH.  As much as YHC loves Gilmore, it should be noted that the actions and opinions expressed by Gilmore do not necessarily represent those of all Wolfpack fans…

We then did a lackluster disclaimer…the kid (really the young man) looked smart…and since he is the son of a contractor…he already knows everything there is to know about disclaimers and all that paperwork nonsense we all deal with…in fact, I already received a change order request for less burpees next time…Candy Cane is teaching him well…

We then moseyed to the circle for the Warmarama:

25x SSH

10x SUPER SLOW Abe Vigodas

10x Seam Ripper (Several pax pointed out that this is actually a cotton picker…reason I don’t say cotton picker is because that is a registered trademark and I don’t wanna get sued…)

16x Sun Gods Each Way(Not sobriety style, but 8xsmall and 8xbig circles).  When I said you don’t have to do sobriety style, several pax became confused, not sure how to do Sun Gods on two feet.

10x Imperial Walkers…

Then began the Presidential Physical Fitness Test

So we began with the shuttle run, with the leave your gloves option in lieu of chalk erasers…I was the only one to participate in the glove exercise but someone did steal my glove….It should be noted that EVERY pax except Kay met their time goal…the below is an image I was able to capture of  Hardy during the event

We then took a breather to do the classic V-sit, which for F3 meant 25x WW1 with an actual stretch

We then moseyed to the track for the dreaded 1-mile run…I used to hate this and dreaded it all year…now I dread it every M, W, and Friday…and we were off…

or not…but at least we finished well!

Then PAX also did AMRAP Pullups, right angle push-ups, or the hang onto the bar routine at the track area before we left…

We then moseyed to another area for the Sit-ups or curls routine…one pax complained that the Q decided to do it on the pavement versus the grass.  The sagelike, handsome, and ever-wise Q informed the pax that if we did it on the grass, another PAX would complain about it being wet…It should be noted that much like the saying “If it ain’t rubbing, it ain’t racing”, in F3 it’s, “If you ain’t fielding complaints, you ain’t Q’ing”…

We also did max burpees for 2-minutes.  It was at this point that we noted that the Russian school children probably have to do burpees as part of president Putin’s physical fitness challenge (other comments were made about performance enhancing drugs for Russian athletes…cause if the curling teams are shooting up…who isn’t)…he may have lost the cold war, but he certainly would be a sugar ray at any F3 event…

We then moseyed to the bus pick-up area and did 11s (dips at top, squats at bottom).  Epstein, the most competent Pax in all of K-ville did not get confused along with the rest of the pax who must have been nervous and on edge as they recalled the time when FloRida made the pax redo a bunch of work when counting 11s went wrong…

For the sugar-rays that finished early 5x double-merkin burpees…

We then moseyed back to the basketball courts with sludge leading a monkey-humper exercise on the road (we caught a school bus, so great work sludge!)…someone, I think tenderfoot maybe, noted that that could be a federal offense…

We then did Mary’s:

25x LBC (Dr. Evil noted the great from YHC had during all exercises)

15x Low Slow Flutter

Homer/Marge (YHC made the mistake of letting Gilmore do a ten count…then YHC let Kay do it but Fergie or someone stole that from Kay…all around nonsense from the Pax…)

Then 20x American Hammers

We then named our newest FNG, Candy Cane’s son “Candy Corn”…Dr. Evil tried to be cool and name him a snowboarder’s term, but Candy Corn (18 years old) had no idea what Dr. Evil was talking about…#old…but welcome to Candy Corn!

Announcements: Seeking to beat Fannypack’s record of earliest preblast ever, Far Side informed us that he is Q’ing next Friday with a 100% chance of Roxanne

Gilmore led us out

Lastly, the awards:

and for Lucky Charms who requested one to put on the wall: