Pain in the Park Saturday: Just what the real Doc ordered.

To commemorate the occasion of YHC (Dr. Tarde) completing 1 year in F3 Kernersville, I took the Q.  Today, 02/24/2018, we retraced YHC’s original FNG workout that was Q’ed by Dr. Evil back on 02/24/2017, with a few modifications.  

We began with a walk over to the main flagpole for the Pledge of Allegiance, which made us right on time for a 6:31AM launch. Guaranteed this walking stuff was not part of my FNG workout.  And you know it’s all uphill from here…

Pledge of Allegiance

Warmarama in the cul-de-sac

  • Slow straddle hops, 25 IC
  • No bounce burpees, 25 IC
  • Plank Jacks, 20 IC
  • Falling superman, 15 IC

What a sucky warm-up!  YHC kept trying to tell the PAX to direct complaints to Dr. Evil, but I don’t think they were buying the misdirection.

Misdirection: I can’t believe Dr. Evil drew up this workout! Pax: Not buying it.

The Thang–Just what the real Doc ordered

Lunge-Claps & Merkins: Field and small hill near corner of Bodenhamer

  • Lunge, 10 out, 10 back, clapping hands between legs each stride
  • 20 merkins
  • Repeat 4-5 times, for a total of 80-100 merkins and 80-100 lunges, until Omaha called.

Squat-Claps & Dips: Convalescent Center

  • Squats with overhead claps, 25
  • Dips, 25
  • Repeat 4x for 100 each

Quote of the day was Sludge to Lucky Charms: “old man, you can’t take your pants off in here”. 

Response from Lucky Charms

Irkins, CDDs, and Bears, oh my! At the school benches

  • 8 ladder, starting at the bus line in parking lot.
  • Carolina Dry Docks, bear crawl to benches
  • Irkins, crawl bear to bus line
  • Repeat, decreasing from 7 to 1 CDD, while increasing from 1 to 7 irkins

Irkin/Derkin/Bear seemed like a bad idea in 2017.  It’s still a bad idea in 2018.  But the location change allowed for more incline on the irkins, so you can thank me for that helpful modification, which dialed it back from 11 to a 10.6 on the suckometer.

BTTW-Suicides: Tennis Court.  Pair up.  One partner runs suicides while other partner holds BTTW position.  2 sets.

The look on Spurrier’s face when this routine was announced = Priceless

Bruce Lee: Skateboard Park 

  • AH (20 reps) (“What? We’re not ending on AH?”)
  • Leg raises (20 reps)
  • LBC’s (20 reps)
  • Heel Touches (20 reps)
  • Crunchy Frog (20 reps) 
  • 100’s (20 reps)

(Curveball, caught a few folks off guard.  The 2017 workout concluded with Mary at the skatepark.  Tarde brought a Bruce Lee to the skatepark for pre-Mary)

6MOM: Basketball court.  AH – 20 reps (“we’re doing AH again?”)


  • Count-o-rama: 11
  • Name-o-rama: Doubtfire, Fortran, Dr. Evil (DL), Gilmore, Lucky Charms, Sludge, Epstein, FloRida, Spurrier, Checkbook, Tarde (QIC).  
  • Announce-o-rama: Gilmore is moving some old lady next Saturday or Sunday, is hoping for good weather or a covered trailer, and hoping many of us can assist.
  • Gilmore led us out.

Epilogue: I thanked those in attendance, but let me say this to everyone.  To the PAX, this past year has been a great honor.  I thank all of you, from the 20-30ish sugar rays, to my 40ish peers, to the 50+ Pax.  Sometimes smelly, crusty, onerous, and…always hilarious.  You are a kind and generous group as well.  I have truly appreciated all of your comforting words and prayers, while also celebrating many joys along the way.  Special thanks to FloRida for EHing me with great persistence in early 2017.

Always an honor, and always right on time,

Dr. Tarde

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