Pain in the Park, November 11, 2017

Pax:       Sprinkler, Kay, Fanny Pack, Sludge, Crankbait, Checkbook, Fortran, Giselle, Doubtfire, Dr Evil, FloRida (Q)

Eleven well-bundled Pax faced the first frost of the season. YHC was surprised and downright delighted to discover that six of the Getaway Eight postponed their departure to Kay’s Lake-apalooza to post this morning and join the Pax for a brief WARMARAMA featuring:

SSH x20 IC
Chinooks x 15 IC
Cotton Pickers x 15 IC
Peter Parkers x 10 IC
Parker Peters x 10 IC

Then a short mosey to the outdoor theater, accompanied by snide and covetous catcalls directed at YHC’s weighted milk jugs and his 22 year-old mini-truck ( I heard you, Dr. Evil and Sprinkler), to begin THE THANG:

Lap 1

Plank Destroyers x 20 reps near the benches.  Thanks to Sludge for this miserable invention – Shoulder Taps+Makhar N’Diaye+Merkin+Plankjack = 1 rep.  Tclaps to Giselle for excellent midwife noises.

WWI situps x 20 reps near the stage. It is Armistice Day, after all.  Then Bear Crawl almost to the porte cochere

Bent Row with milk jugs x 20 reps, then backpedal up the hill

Pistol Squats – 10 each leg

5 Burpees

Lap 2

4×4 – 20 reps near the benches. Tclaps to the absent Crawdaddy for bringing this one to Kernersville.  4 Merkins + 4 Mountain Climbers = 1 rep. Kay kept a running total of his Merkin accumulation, and even Dr. Evil agreed that 20 was too many.  Fanny Pack made some modification, but with those camo cargo pants, no one could tell exactly what he was doing.

WWII situps x 20 reps near the stage. Because the war to end all wars, did not.  Then Bear Crawl to the Jugs.

Bent Fly with milk jugs – 20 reps, then backpedal up the hill

Lt Dans with jugs

5 Burpees

Lap 3

Double Dips x 20 reps. Fourtran, true to his name, turned this into some odd Four Dips and a Kick combo. Crankbait, always the graceful encourager, dipped along in support, but betrayed his skepticism with a withering side-eye.

Pickle Pounders x 20 reps. A fatigued pax sprung to life with much mirth about pickle size and pounding range. Then bearcrawl to the jugs.

Standing Row x 20 reps. Despite his aforementioned disdain for the milk jugs, Dr. Evil urged Doubtfire and Giselle on to impeccable high row form.  Backpedal up hill.

Thighmaster x 20 each leg.

5 Burpees

Lap 4

Round of Merkins at the benches. 5 each direction

LBC x 20 IC near the stage. Bearcrawl to the jugs.

Standing Fly x 20. Unable to contain his inner Rain Man, Kay worked out the percentage of his bodyweight he was lifting (hint, it approaches 25%). Then backpedal up the hill.

Touchdown Squats with one jug. Sprinkler was doing some sort of Clean and Jerk with his jug.

5 burpees.

Repeat a second lap until Kay, in Greensboro fashion, decided the workout was over. After gathering the jugs and paperwork, the Pax moseyed to the familiar confines of the basketball court for 6 Minutes of Mary:

Box Cutters x 15 IC
Flutters 15 IC
Cindy Crawfords 12 each side IC
American Hammers x 25 IC.

Sludge led us out.

Fanny Pack and FloRida decamped to the Presbyterian Church for pancakes, coffee and joyous conversation with the church mission director.

Always an honor.

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