Snakebite! Flashbang Friday Sept 29, 2017

The Pax
Tarde, Spicoli, Giselle, Chipper, Sludge, Tenderfoot, Deliverance, Pacer, Kryptonite, Blue Hen, Checkbook, Special Ed, Lucky Charms, Dr. Evil, Crawdaddy, Crankbait, Fortran, Dean, High Heels (on loan), Sex Wax (FNG formerly known as Steve Newsome), FloRida (QIC)

One score of Pax, plus one FNG, posted up to enjoy summer’s last gasp on a 65 degree morning In The Gloom. Tarde was not, and Dean was prepared for another of FloRida’s complex routines with a flow chart and two carefully sharpened No. 2 pencils.  Master E.H.’er Sludge, brought not one, but two friends from out of town, including the fresh-faced FNG Steve Newsome from Richmond.  After half a welcome, QIC FloRida led the Pax to the warmup circle for the disclaimer directing all Pax to binding arbitration, plus a little bit of WARMARAMA:

SSH – 15 IC, Don Quixotes – 10 IC, Cotton Pickers – 10 IC, Peter Parkers 10 IC.  Good to have Fortran back carrying the counting load for the entire pax.  No way of knowing exactly how many reps we actually do when he is away.

Then off to the mean sidewalks of Mountain Street, with Special Ed setting an especially effective side-step moving pick to keep the Q away from any milk jugs that might be stored in the truck.

A quick stop for Flashing Humpers (Spurrier, wish you were here!) to show High Heels how we invite FNGs here in KVegas. And this time, a grand success!  Not one, Not two, but THREE cars traveled by.  No worries, High Heels, no one noticed 20 pairs of bobbing dark shorts next to Spicoli’s surfer jams looking like a flag on a doe.

After the flashing, but before the authorities arrived, the Pax moved on to the front lawn of the school for a lineup and a quick trip through the Tunnel of Love:  Pax planks in a line, shoulder to shoulder to form a tunnel, and last man crawls through, emerging into Plank position to extend the tunnel, followed by each subsequent Pax.  Leading by example, the Q was first through the tunnel.  To the pax member sharing with YHC a full-palm, five-finger cheek slap on the way through, I hope you enjoyed it more than me.

The on to the main event: Bleacher Snakes.  Not being an Extraordinary AO like High Point, KVegas has to make do with hills, trees and cones to simulate a zig-zag up and down the bleacher steps.  Determined to fully and precisely communicate the essence of the workout, the Q began by leading the most of the pax (Dean an exception, ignoring “follow me” and choosing to go his own way) through one lap up and down the bleachers to ensure that all could successfully navigate the course.  Dr Evil recalling the fleet (and AWOL) Brownie (young Ian Jenkins) absolutely skating through Bleacher Snakes last time.   Some more Monkey Humpers until the Six.

YHC asked the Pax to self-divide into two groups (Groups one & two, red & blue, shirts & skins, sheep & goats, whatever…). The high concentration of engineers among the pax noted with objection that one group might have more members than the other;  YHC tried, with limited success, to assure the pax that asymmetric groups would not impede the remainder of THE THANG:

Group 1 (red, shirts, sheep…) performed work while
Group 2 (blue, skins, goats…) traveled the bleachers. Then flapjack.

Round 1 – Group 1 – Hold Balls To The Wall;  Group 2 run 2 laps through the bleachers.
Round 2 – Group 1 – Crabcakes;  Group 2 Lunge ½ lap through the bleachers.
Round 3 – Group 1 – Prisoner Get Ups. Deliverance beginning each round with thoughts of modification, pondering What Would Sludge Do?; Group 2 – Run 1 bleacher lap, backwards up the hills. Kryptonite rejected the modification of burpees in place of running, gamely hanging in despite a recovering foot.
Round 4 Group 1 – LBC; Group 2 – Bear Crawl half lap. Pacer and Blue Hen both showing ursine ferocity.
Round 5 Group 1 – Plankjacks; Group 2 sent off to run 2 laps, but Omaha to 1 lap for time and plankjack exhaustion.

Saving rounds 6-10 for another day ITG, the pax moseyed back to the basketball court. Lucky Charms and Giselle both still showing remarkably fresh legs, pressed the pace, anxious for Namearama after a very brief bit of MARY:

Side Plank Hip Press – 10 IC each side.
American Hammers – 30 IC.  Tenderfoot, having already forgotten the LBCs and Plankjacks, surprised and disappointed with only one core exercise before Hammer-time.

Circle of Trust

Praises for Crankbait’s friend David, now clean, sober and out of jail, and Tarde’s 8 Y.O. niece, Lucy, home and recovering after pacemaker surgery.

Prayers for Far Side and Epstein on the Disabled List.

Remember ToTo and family ministering in Africa.

NAMEARAMA – FNG Steve Newsome visiting from Richmond VA. Co-worker of Sludge, Lucky Charms, Special Ed, and High Heels stepped out In The Gloom to see what the Greensboro office is talking about when they should be working.  Turns out Steve’s a surfer (in Richmond?  Where? On the James River?). Crawdaddy pondered bumping off Spicoli to free up the name.   Possibilities:  Wipeout? Pipeline? Baywatch? Hasselhoff?  All good, but the pax took the low road and sent him back to Richmond with “Sex Wax”.  Welcome, Sex Wax!  Look for KVegas expat Alpo at a Richmond AO.

Crankbait restored order with a graceful and moving closing prayer.

Always an honor,

Flo Rida


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