2017-09-27 Poison Ivey – Red Card and Lady Bugs

19 PAX – Gilmore, Crankbait, Deliverance, Dr. Evil, Kay, Gisele, Spicoli, High Heels, Chipper, Sludge, Lucky Charms, Fortran, Checkbook, Flounder, Fanny Pack, Big Saxy, Sprinkler, Dean, and welcome to Red Card!

It was a gloomy morning, and a bit warm for September, but freezing for Kay. The mumble chatter fluttered about through the warm humid air before the workout even began given the intimidation of a Dean-led workout.  After issuing the don’t sue disclaimer, Dean was castigated for failing to mention the purpose of F3.

Workout began with a Mosey to the road…After 20x Side straddle hops, we did 16x Gilmores (Abe Vigoda with correct speed) but were interrupted by Red Card. We were sure that the car wouldn’t’ come towards us…but then it did.  We thought it was Tarde, but turns out he was so late he didn’t show up until noon, wondering where everyone was.  We then met a new FNG that Gilmore invited…who later became known as Red Card due to his excessive force in coaching girls soccer…

Then 20x Stream Ripper (that K-Vegas crew calls cotton picker) 15x Sun Gods, 12x Toy Solider rockette style (that K-Vegas calls Frankensteins). Sludge got feisty that the humble Q chooses to use F3 Greensboro (city slicker style) lingo at a K-vegas workout.  It stopped short of Sludge kneeling in protest, but it did come close.  Dean has considered kneeling during all Sludge workout instructions going forward.  Also noted that Kaepernick was nowhere to be found today.  No job in the NFL so not sure why he couldn’t make it out to the workout?  He was missed…

Then we did 50%, 75%, and 100% sprints to various lights. Kay got confused here and much mumble chatter ensued.  We then moseyed back to the big parking lot.  After much mumble chatter where people called Crankbait unthinkable things for not hijacking Dean’s Q, Crankbait himself hijacked the mosey and turned it into an Indian run….Dean was livid, but graciously turned the other cheek.  Speaking of which, Dean recalls no gas passed from Gilmore’s cheeks all day.  Must have been trying to impress and not scare off his FNG friend.  Smooth move exlax…

Then began the thrust of the workout. Crabwalk up the big hill, run to each line and do a workout, first line is one, second line is two, and so on. The exercises were burpees, Lt. Dan, Hand release merkins, double Lt. Dans.  Then run back across the parking lot.  Lunge the last little bit and crawl bear down the hill.  Dean decided to go through the workout with everyone the first time to avoid confusion….it should be noted that Q was the 6th for the entirety of “The Thang”.  Well done everyone else…You could accurately say that throughout this exercise that everyone was Chipper, looking Big Saxy, and that no one was Flounder-ing around playing with their Fanny Packs or wearing High Heels.

Photo of Big Saxy during today’s workout

Then a mosey to Mary’s interrupted by Bearpees (combination of bear crawl into burpees…)

For Mary’s 20x Zippo lighter LBC, 20x Low slow flutter, 10x Cindy Crawford each side, 20x low dolly, 20x American hammer (count stolen by Crankbait). Lucky Charms called for more Mary’s…others castigated him, but it’s doubtful that he could hear any of it…

Announcements: Dr. Evil effort to help Susan around house, maybe after Saturday workout?  Crankbait Monday night help.  According to some PAX, although Dean cannot confirm, Crankbait is available to do everyone’s laundry at no charge.  Fabric softener included…

Prayer Requests: Red Card’s family, Ian Colston broke collar bone, David Meyer’s court date, Todo – check out his blog for specifics, .

Sludge took us out.

In the words of Sludge, it’s an honor to lead,

Dean