The Pax: Epstein, Spicoli, Deliverance, Kay, Pacer, Dean, Tarde, Crawdaddy, Chipper, Alpo, Radar, Fortran, Crankbait, Sprinkler, Blue Hen, Gilmore, Dr Evil, Sludge, FloRida (#SleevelessLikeCheech)
Enough for two sides, plus one DH, made it out to the ballpark this fine morning to share YHC’s one year F3 anniversary. To celebrate, YHC pulled from the archives the exact workout from last year’s first post: Dr Evil’s baseball-themed Boys of Summer.
Boys of Summer, BTW, refers not to the Don Henley song or the seasonal vacationers looking to score with the local girls in the beach towns, but rather to sportswriter Roger Kahn’s highly regarded book about the 1950’s Brooklyn Dodgers, sometimes referred to as the finest American book on sports.
After Father Time’s usual objection to the launch moment, the Pax moseyed to the On Deck circle for a brief WARMARAMA consisting of:
- SSH – 20 IC
- Don Quixotes – 15 IC
- Cotton Pickers – 15 IC
Only Spicoli recognizable in The Gloom, thanks to his Most Gnarly patterned board shorts.
After a few practice cuts, the Pax moseyed to the baseball field for:
THANG 1 – The most exciting play in baseball – the Inside the Park Home Run:
Bases set at (approx) regulation 90 feet, confusing Sprinkler who, apparently, is more comfortable with the dimensions of a girls softball field.
Run the bases, stopping for burpees at each base.
First base, 1 Burpee, Second base 2 Burpee, Third base 3 Burpee, Home Plate 4 Burpee. Repeat for three rounds, adding one burpee with each base, finishing with 12 burpees, at home plate on the third run scored. The box score shows 78 burpees.
Showing impressive mental agility, Epstein counted down the remaining burpees rather than counting up, which works OK if you know the final score before the game is over.
After three scores, (perhaps equivalent to a week of high school social activity for Pacer ?), the Pax moved to the Right Field foul line to begin:
THANG 2 – Move to the Outfield to run down fly balls.
Lunge walk from foul line to first cone – about 60 feet. Stop at cone for 15 Monkey Humpers.
Lunge walk from first cone to second cone- also 60 feet. Stop at cone for 15 Gorilla Humpers.
Return back to foul line in similar fashion. Like Chicago Cubs first baseman Ernie Banks, aka Mr. Sunshine, the Pax agreed it was a beautiful day and suggested a doubleheader. “Let’s Play Two” – Repeat the Lunge and Humper sequence.
THANG 3 – Infielders on their toes
Partner up. P1 runs backward to the second cone while P2 holds a half squat with fingers in the grass waiting for a hot grounder. P1 runs forward to relieve P2. Swap. Repeat for a total of four rounds. Thanks to Blue Hen and Crankbait for including YHC in their platoon.
The 2016 workout stopped here, but the 2017 Pax is stronger and faster, leaving time for something new:
THANG 4 – The Perfect Game
YHC committed the rookie error of asking a question to which he did not already know the answer – specifically, “Minimum number of pitches to achieve a Perfect Game?” Fortran channeled his inner Bill James and correctly answered 27, which was not the answer that fit the workout. QIC proceeded regardless, asking only that the Pax throw strikes – specifically 3 to each batter in each inning:
9 cones in a line, spaced 10 feet apart. Pax does 9 merkins at each cone. Gilmore clucked about Dr Evil’s jump start, but, hey, there is no clock on this game. Only Kay chose to start at the far end and work in, fortunately averting a collision at about inning 5.
Having worked on hitting, outfielding, infielding and pitching, the Pax moseyed to the Clubhouse for 6 Minutes of Mary, including:
- Nolan Ryans (of course) – 15 IC,
- Cindy Crawfords (all good ballplayers have a supermodel in the stands) – 15 IC
- LBCs – Thanks to Dean for keeping the baseball motif going with Little Baseball Crunches – 15 IC
- American Hammers – 30 IC
After a fine effort all around, the team was rewarded with Capri Sun juice boxes. This was for you, Lucky Charms! Where were you? Crawdaddy slurped a cold one, Tarde posed with his, Deliverance said Thank You (someone’s momma raised him right) and Pacer mused that, in this regard, baseball is maybe preferable to soccer.
Radar reluctantly coughed up the last name XXXXXXXX [REDACTED] during the NameArama. Hope this does not mean that he will now be assigned a new identity, or that we are all now targets.
- Greensboro hosting a Mega CSAUP on October 28. Roughly 5 miles of running and 5-7 pain stations.
- F3 Kernersville Two Year anniversary is August 8. We will celebrate on Wednesday August 9 at the place where it all started. Reach out and EH a stray Pax.
- Alpo will begin loading a moving truck. Plan to head over to his house on August 19, immediately after the Saturday workout, and help him get some of the big stuff into the truck.
- Tyler Douglas, starting his adult life without his father.
- Martin Roberts and family. Missing ASU student and Dr. Evil’s neighbor.
- Crankbait led us out.
What a difference a year makes. I could not finish this workout a year ago, and it left me nearly unable to sit for two days. Today, we had to add Thang 4, not present in the original workout, in order to achieve a full beatdown. #IronSharpensIron. Thanks to Sludge for the EH. It’s an inspiration to share The Gloom with each of you.